2017 PlantBot Genetics a satire of monsanto. 

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Seymoursaurus

(D)EVOLUTIONARY AGRICULTURE ©

All Pompass Performada are made up of a R. Mechan-Karaoke and Cortderila Singalonga.  This non-native ornamental is highly adaptable and can grow in a wide range of climates it also sings prolific with each plant capable of producing over 1 million songs during its lifetime so much so that it is considered an insidious weed. The plant is now banned from propagation and sale in Florida.  Control through burning will not always prevent return.  Chemical weed killers and alcohol have been proven ineffective and actually encourages growth and vocalization.

This perennial appears from root balls that store large quantities of energy for the fall and winter when they go dormant.  It is easily recognizable with semi dwarf to very large selections and its call to always “Kick Me a Beat”.  Standing almost two meters above the leaves are seed heads that can last well into the winter.  When gardening near natural wild-land urban interfaces, take great care to avoid unless you got the beat. Its calls for singing duets displace natural songbirds that have been present in the natural culture for centuries.

PlantBot Genetics is proud to add Dinosauria Petrodophyte to our latest line of d(evolutionary) hybrids.One hypothesis, which explains the demise of dinosaur’s populations and the end of the crustaceous period 55 million years ago, is the fast growing gymnosperm species were superseded by the flowering seed plants like the fruit trees and bean plants that are now so abundant. Since flowering seed plants are so slow growing, they could not provide enough food for the large Dino-inhabitants. PlantBot Genetic researchers are attempting to re-verse engineer evolution as the large human population is becoming too vast for the current slow growing seed based agriculture system. By creating a new gene o sperm species based on pre-historic fast growing plants, we can create a new abundant food source. To date our d(evolutionary) hybrids  grow extremely rapidly and quickly, however at the moment, all prove to be inedible.

​Sauroplantapo

(D)EVOLUTIONARY AGRICULTURE ©

PlantBot Genetics has removed DNA from a sauropod specimen found in amber dated from the dinosaur era and manipulated it into a fast growing cyade fern. The result is an amazingly fast growing plant that researchers have not yet allowed to grow to maturity since there is no research lab large enough to safely contain it. The example shown is two hours old and already sexually mature. In three days it will be the size of a swollen beached blue whale, in one week it will be the size of a house in Silicon Valley owned by an Internet mogul.  In just one month is is surmised the Sauroplantapod could become  much larger than Gilligan’s island. At this point only males have been produced in the laboratory to avoid outbreak even though male spores are compatible with many species of ferns that could spark uncontrolled genetic mutations in the wild.

Red Palehuatodon

(D)EVOLUTIONARY AGRICULTURE ©

Yksi hypoteesi joka selittää dinosauruspopulaation häviämisen liitukaudella 55 vuotta sitten on paljassiemenisten lajien syrjäytyminen siemenkasvien tieltä. Hitaasti kasvavat siemenkasvit eivät pystyneet enää tarjoamaan tarpeeksi ruokaa dinosauruksille. PlantBot Geneticin tutkijat yrittävät kumota oletetun kehityskulun, jonka mukaan ihmiskunta syö enemmän kuin tuottaa. Luomalla uusia punaisia Palehuatadon  hybridejä, joiden kasvu perustuu esi-historiallisen nopeaan kasvuun, voimme luoda uuden massatuotantoon soveltuvan ruuanlähteen. Joka tapauksessa kaikki kokeilumme ovat osoittautuneet syömäkelvottomiksi

Rex-Poppy
 (D)EVOLUTIONARY AGRICULTURE ©

Not a spore producing plant, the Rex-Poppy as nicknamed in the lab is a dinasauria Papaveraceoe and can be identified by its distinct poricidal capsules and roars. The capsules encase numerous minute seeds that are released through pores beneath the stigmata disk. Opium poppy has been used since the Stone Age as an anesthesia and rapidly spread throughout the world as an agent for pain relief. Through (D)EVOLUTIONARY AGRICULTURE ©​ the combination of dinosauria and poppy DNA, PlantBot Genetics is hoping to create a super pain reliever that will be able to prevent desensitization to many pharmaceutical drugs on the market today.

Fernasaurous
 (D)EVOLUTIONARY AGRICULTURE ©

Escaped male spores from Sauroplantapod landed on a common fiddlehead fern’s female sex organ to create this hybrid. In the wild this cross fertilization is possible because when viewed with an electron microscope each fern cilia has the same arrangement of microtubules as the other cells present in dinasauria, especially the sauraplantapod. This cell structure allows for things to cross bread extremely easily. Fernasaurous is especially dangerous because it so convincingly camouflages itself as an unexpecting non-modified common fern. Visually the only way to classify it in the wild is to listen for its prehistoric growls and to watch for its movements which are an under developed defense response. This PlantBot is especially violent when synthetic sugars are present replicating the pheromones of a brontosaurus in heat. Since this traits deeply embedded into its genetic code, do not let small children who cannot defend themselves eat packaged candy in any forest that may have ferns  nearby.  

•May be related to sucra fernamongus discovered in Florida.

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