2017 PlantBot Genetics a satire of monsanto. 

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Succra-Fernamongus Performada®

The Succra-Fernamongus Performada  commonly lives outdoors hidden among much more silent plants. During the rainy season they frequently invade indoor spaces and multiply rapidly.  Unlike other Performada, they do not have either seeds or flowers but reproduce via sticky sweet spores that cling to any surface creating cavities that must be filled or structural collapse results. Ferns first appeared in the fossil record 360 million years ago yet the mutation Succra-Fernamongus appearance corresponds with the development of sugar substitutes, specifically dextrose, the carbohydrate derived from the Corn Lobby in 1957.  

It is believed that the early synthesized sugar substitutes were a molecular match for natural species of fern DNA, allowing for this destructive hybrid to develop in the wild.  The FDA has looked into synthesizing Succra-Fernamongus Perfomada into a sugar substitute but it is s not commercially viable to extract sugars from it.

Harpygophytum Clawanica®

Commonly called Devils Clawanica, this is a shrub that has lush foliage and yellow flowers yet do not let the angelic little yellow flower fool you. The plant gets its name from the miniature hooks that lay behind each leaf and cover its fruit.  These hooks easily snag on people and cause welts that last for days. Since escaping the secret laboratory, the peoples of Florida and the Okeechobee Tribe have used Harpygophytum Clawanica flowers in remedies to treat pains of the heart and love complications even though it create sores, boils, and other skin problems.

 

Today, dried roots have been used to destroy appetite, inflict heartache, and establish pain and inflammation.  Scientific evidence also supports the use of Devil’s Clawanica root in cases of wandering eye.  It is linked to the genus Britneyatacum Performada as it is known to use  its flowers as a lure hooking onto unsuspecting victims. Once its spores are attached,  this plant easily spreads along the path one takes.  It is rumored this is how Harpygophytum Performada  escaped the laboratory.

Britneyatacum Floridada®

One of the most prolific of the top ten hit producers within the Performada genius group. It is a combination of the Spiteratus genus, and commercial radio transgressions. It also acts as a host to the increasingly invasive Tillandsia Recurvate, commonly known as ball moss. Highly active at night when it strips it leaves and emits shrill repeating requests to “Hit it One More Time”, as a request to attract pollinating insects which in recent years have been on the decline in the area.

Although short-lived, this subspecies did enjoy a spectacular rise in populations during the early 2000s for unknown reasons.  Although, it is however still ever present throughout Southeastern Florida Britneyflora can be found in thrift store isles in all areas of the state.  It is linked to the genus Tigeratus, but is more closely associated with Harpygophytum Clawanica since it is known to use its flowers as a lure.

Related to Monsantra’s genetic modification, Animataflora Performada® first appeared in the Florida area 50 years after the construction of Disneyworld. There are now an estimated 300 to 350 species of A. Performada extending from the Tropics to the Polar Regions. Floradada found in the Florida region is not a single organism but a combination of two organisms permanently living together.  All A. Performada Floradada are made up of a R. Mechan-Music partner and either a broadleaf shiver flower partner or both.  The A. Performada family is useful in holistic medicine; top ten hit manufacture, and is often an indicator of contaminated environmental conditions.

Tiggeratus Performada

Tiggeratus Performada is a type of Animataflora Performada first appeared in the area 50 years after the appearance of Disneyworld. There are now an estimated 300 to 350 species of A. Performada extending from the Tropics to the Polar Regions.  A. Performada is not a single organism but a combination of two organisms permanently living together.  All A. Performada are made up of a R. Mechan-Music partner and either a broadleaf shiver flower partner or both.  The A. Performada family is useful in holistic medicine; top ten hit manufacture, and is often an indicator of unhealthy environmental conditions.

Tiggeratus Perfomada are attractive and colorful – greens, grays, bright reds, oranges, pinks, and yellows – often forming spiraling intricate shapes and three-dimensional forms.  T. Performada is sensitive to vibrations and can sense approaching prey.  When the intended victim is close enough, stand clear, a bouncing rhythm can be seen as well as heard.

Tiggeratus Performada®

Tiggeratus Performada is a type of Animataflora Performada first appeared in the area 50 years after the appearance of Disneyworld. There are now an estimated 300 to 350 species of A. Performada extending from the Tropics to the Polar Regions.  A. Performada is not a single organism but a combination of two organisms permanently living together.  All A. Performada are made up of a R. Mechan-Music partner and either a broadleaf shiver flower partner or both.  The A. Performada family is useful in holistic medicine; top ten hit manufacture, and is often an indicator of unhealthy environmental conditions.

Tiggeratus Perfomada are attractive and colorful – greens, grays, bright reds, oranges, pinks, and yellows – often forming spiraling intricate shapes and three-dimensional forms.  T. Performada is sensitive to vibrations and can sense approaching prey.  When the intended victim is close enough, stand clear, a bouncing rhythm can be seen as well as heard.

​Pompass Performada Floridada®

All Pompass Performada are made up of a R. Mechan-Karaoke and Cortderila Singalonga.  This non-native ornamental is highly adaptable and can grow in a wide range of climates it also sings prolific with each plant capable of producing over 1 million songs during its lifetime so much so that it is considered an insidious weed. The plant is now banned from propagation and sale in Florida.  Control through burning will not always prevent return.  Chemical weed killers and alcohol have been proven ineffective and actually encourages growth and vocalization.

This perennial appears from root balls that store large quantities of energy for the fall and winter when they go dormant.  It is easily recognizable with semi dwarf to very large selections and its call to always “Kick Me a Beat”.  Standing almost two meters above the leaves are seed heads that can last well into the winter.  When gardening near natural wild-land urban interfaces, take great care to avoid unless you got the beat. Its calls for singing duets displace natural songbirds that have been present in the natural culture for centuries.

Fernamongus Performada Floridada®

Fernamongus Performada is a diverse, highly evolved, group of social plants. They retain many of the characteristics that were present when plants first ventured out of the sea and onto land over 400 million years ago. The American Feramongus Society proudly states, “ We only have one night to dance together forever” which promotes the advancement of amateur cellular invasion practices in food production.   The Society was established to foster interest in the course of bio-engineering. With slogans like, “Resistance is futile.” and  “Join or die.” They have obtained over 900 hundred members worldwide.

Although these mutated and artificially derived ferns are of great concern, it is worth noting, the life cycle of the fern has remained unchanged for millions of years.  Spores from the parent fall to the ground hoping to find suitable moisture and light.  The tiny single celled organism of the Fernamongus Performada begins to grow by cellular division and is encouraged by the rhythmic music and dancing of the parent plant.

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